There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
