My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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