its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
