No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How does it feel to date your dad?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
