Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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