Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
