you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
