Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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