thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
