just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
