i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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