I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
