I am puke
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
