One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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