And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
