I could make wine with my vomit
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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