dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
