i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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