woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
