They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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