it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
