I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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