Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
