she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
