his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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