I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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