i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
