Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
