I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
