apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
