I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
