my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
