I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
