I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
