im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
