My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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