You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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