there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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