I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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