im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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