so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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