he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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