I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
