My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
