puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And then my night got REAL pukey
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
