4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
