I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I could fuck to npr.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
