yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
