in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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