who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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