Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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